{"id":693,"date":"2014-04-02T11:10:04","date_gmt":"2014-04-02T11:10:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.escort-england.com\/blog\/?p=693"},"modified":"2024-03-21T09:16:31","modified_gmt":"2024-03-21T09:16:31","slug":"craziest-dildos-market","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.xescorts.com\/blog\/craziest-dildos-market\/","title":{"rendered":"The Craziest Dildos On The Market!"},"content":{"rendered":"

What do sex toys and the English escorts<\/a> have in common? No matter what you like, you\u2019re almost guaranteed to find one that will tick all the right boxes. As people are able to browse and order discreetly online, it opens the doors to a whole range of toys that we didn\u2019t know even existed. Over the years there\u2019s been some odd toys on the marker, but we recently stumbled upon some of the most terrifying dildos imaginable. For those who want to offend or scar your partner for life, order one of these bad boys\u2026<\/p>\n

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1) The Zombie<\/h2>\n

Everyone loves a good zombie movie, right? But how many of us get off on the thought of having a zombie inside us? Well for those who do, there\u2019s a toy just for you. Coming to us courtesy of Fleshlight.com, it comes with a premium five colour paint job for added realism. The amount of attention that\u2019s been put into it is incredible \u2013 you can see the skin rotting away to show the muscle underneath. Feeling horny yet?<\/p>\n

2) The Dragon<\/h2>\n

If you find yourself wondering what it would be like to have sex with a dragon, here\u2019s a dildo for you! This is one of the most popular products at bad-dragon.com and subsequently it is highly customisable and can be built to order. For $150 you can buy the standard model which (as you can imagine) is pretty big, but has the added bonus of being able to eject lubricant to simulate a dragon\u2019s orgasm. Worth every penny\u2026 <\/p>\n

3) The Tentacle<\/h2>\n

This is another bad-dragon.com product and is described on the website as a creature with \u201csoft, forgiving flesh, unlimited dexterity and the insatiable need to fill the holds of any creature that comes near\u201d. This toy was designed for those who enjoy the tentacle-type porn that has become increasingly popular in Japan. If you happen to be one of them, for $70 you can recreate those scenes with your partner (if she\u2019ll let you near her with one of these, that is).<\/p>\n

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4) The Dog<\/h2>\n

At first glance, they look like artistic and quirky sex toys. Then you remember that the sole purpose of these toys is to allow people to get as close to bestiality as legally and ethically possible. We\u2019ve been reassure by the creators that these are the \u201chighest quality, most realistic animal dildos available\u201d \u2013 they even come with pumps to swell up the plastic until it gets stuck inside. A for effort, but seriously?<\/p>\n

5) The Whale<\/h2>\n

Keeping with the bestiality theme, we bring you The Whale. It\u2019s an anatomically correct whale penis that is 14 inches long. The creators insist that this is for novelty use only \u2013 what better way to say I love you than to give your partner a novelty whale dildo? While you\u2019re on the TSX Toys website, you can browse through all the other bestiality items they stock such as; horse and wolf dildos.<\/p>\n

6) The Obama<\/h2>\n

Are you an obsessive Obama merchandise collector? Do you or your partner get off on the idea of getting frisky with the head of state? If you\u2019re answer is yes, don\u2019t miss out on the instant classic that can be yours for \u00a330. Bargain!<\/p>\n

7) The Christ<\/h2>\n

Do you love Jesus? Does your partner want a religious experience? If so, you could always get her a Jackhammer Jesus. It’s a dildo that has Jesus crucified to it\u2026so you can use it to get closer to God. With the tagline; \u201cJesus was a carpenter, now he’s the powertool\u201d \u2013 what is not to love?! For those hailing from different faiths, you\u2019ve not been forgotten. There are also Buddha and Shiva products available. They even have a Baby Jesus Butt Plug. Seriously.<\/p>\n

\"Portrait<\/a><\/p>\n

8) The Platinum Eternity<\/h2>\n

If you want to impress, or just blow a serious amount of money, then order yourself one of these. These vibrators are made from platinum and covered in 28 diamonds, providing 360 degrees of bling! At an outrageous cost of $3,250, this might just be the world’s most expensive vibrator. It\u2019s elegant, quiet, and discreet and comes with a 3 year guarantee \u2013 it\u2019s bound to please even the greediest of gold-diggers. <\/p>\n

9) The Dracula<\/h2>\n

Is your partner on the Team Edward side of the fence? Then the Dracula dildo will fulfil her every desire\u2026that is, if she desires the penis of a cold, centuries old imaginary lover. The product page even recommends that we \u201ctoss it in the fridge for that authentic experience.\u201d This unique toy can be yours for \u00a350, and if you throw in an extra \u00a320 you get a vampire porno too. As the tagline says, there is \u201cNothing like some good old fashioned vampire sucking and fucking.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What do sex toys and the escorts in Hampshire have in common? No matter what you like, you\u2019re almost guaranteed to find one that will tick all the right boxes. As people are able to browse and order discreetly online, it opens the doors to a whole range of toys that we didn\u2019t know even existed. Over the years there\u2019s been some odd toys on the marker, but we recently stumbled upon some of the most terrifying dildos imaginable. For those who want to offend or scar your partner for life, order one of these bad boys\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":12765,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"iawp_total_views":46,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[204,8,205,67],"class_list":["post-693","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice","tag-dildos","tag-sex","tag-sex-aids","tag-sex-toys"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Craziest Dildos On The Market! | The XEscorts Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"XEscorts takes a look at the craziest, and downright weirdest dildo's around today. 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