How To Get What You Want In Bed

February 2, 2015

When it comes to sex, some people seem to have the ability to instantly get what they want. It is as though their partners have the ability to read their mind and know just what to do to get them going.

For the rest of us mere mortals, we have to work a bit harder than that. Often, we are left fumbling and trying new things in an attempt to figure out just what your partner wants in bed.

Being the one fumbling in the dark can be a little embarrassing, but what if you are on the receiving end? How do you get this magical ability to instantly have others know exactly what it is you want in bed? We take a look at how you can get what you want in bed.

Talk honestly

Unfortunately, there isn’t some magic pill you can take to let others know how to tease and please you, and it actually takes a little bit of work to let others know just what it is you want in the bedroom.

The first step that you need to make is to talk to your partner. Yes, it may sound like stating the obvious, but it seems that a lot of people are scared of talking to their partner about what they want. They feel that they should be able to work it out without muttering a word to each other, or that their partner might be irritated by being told what to do.

It could even be that what you want in the bedroom is something that is more challenging to talk about, and you aren’t certain of how your partner will react. However, if you don’t ask then you will never know how they feel about it.

To start a conversation about sex, you should both be feeling as relaxed as possible. If you approach the topic when you or your partner feels angry or upset, it could simply aggravate the situation further – which is definitely not what you want.

Start by telling them something that you love them doing, whether that is the way their touch you during foreplay or a move they try during sex. Tell them how much you love it, and they may want to do that more. You can also tell them of the things that you would like to try during sex and ask if they would be willing.

During sex

One of the best times to let your partner know what you want in the bedroom is when you are actually there and having sex.

If you partner has decided to start foreplay by giving you an amazing blowjob, make it clear to them what works for you. Moaning and letting out sighs can be a simply way of doing this, and if you say “that feels amazing”, your partner has a clear indication of what you like.

Wanting to try something more specific with your partner? Tell them. In the bedroom, it is easier to talk about all of the naughty things you want to do as it is a safe environment. New positions or even new acts can be approached in this way. Start by saying that you’d love to try whatever position or act you have in mind.

You can add to this by saying why you want to do it. If your partner has a fantastic ass you can’t stop staring at, that is a good reason to want to try doggy style. If they taste great to you, tell them and they will be more willing to do it.
Romantic Young Couple at Restaurant

Be open to new ideas

Getting what you want in the bedroom is not a one way street. Remember that your partner will also have things that they really want to try and do in the bedroom, and so if you are able to have an honest conversation about your desires you should be willing to listen.

Compromise can be great in the bedroom. If you want to try a new position but your partner wants to experiment with a move in an old favourite, you could spend time getting both done. Most of the time, you will find that what you both want in the bedroom is something that can easily be achieved with a little bit of practice and patience.

If you don’t like the sound of their idea, don’t immediately refuse it. Try to be open minded and ask your partner what it is that turns them on the most about it. If the situation were reversed, you would be upset if your idea was shot down, so give your partner that same respect and at least try it the once.

Do you find it easy to talk about sex, or are you still hoping your partner will get the hint? You can let us know easily, by either writing your thoughts in the comment box below.

Lara Mills
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