A Party For Small Penises?!

February 23, 2015

Just when you think you’ve seen it all, you hear that there is a man from Yorkshire holding a party for people with small penises… because if you have a small penis you want nothing more than to party with people with the same issue, right?

If this is peaking your interest, either because you want to attend or you’re just wondering what on earth would make someone start this kind of party, read on!

Penis size

People are obsessed with penis size. No matter how many times women tell men that size really doesn’t matter and that it is how you use it and your other skills in bed that count, men just don’t listen. They’ll be back again in a week asking the same question and wondering if we are saying it just to be nice.

Really, you should be embracing your body. The more you love and accept it, the better it will be for your own self-esteem, which can have a huge impact on your relationships.

That said… throwing a party for small penises? That might be going a step too far. After all, if men with big cocks were to get together to have a party, they’d be accused of just rubbing it in.

It all started with a poem

You may be thinking that perhaps this Yorkshire man decided to throw this party after talking to his friends about it. You would be wrong.

It seems that it all started with a poem that Ant Smith wrote about his “tiny cock”, as he calls it. The poem, which goes on to explain that it looks “like a crooked little finger”, was read out and performed and the response he received was huge.

People reached out to him about their own penis anxieties, whether they felt they were too big, too small, too strange looking, or too straight.

Party planner!

“It suddenly dawned on me that what I was trying to do here was tackle a body image issue,” Smith said in a recent interview. That was when he decided to hold his party.

The party, which will take place in Whitechapel in March, is named the “Big Small Penis Party”. So, not just for small penises then!

You might think that is about as weird as it could get… but believe me, it gets worse. There is a fee to enter and join the party, but it is all about your penis size. You will be charged per inch of your penis, and each inch is worth 50p. Women can also attend, surprisingly, but they will be charged based on how big they think their penis would be, if they had one. Yes, really.


To me, it seems a bit unfair that they are charging per inch, and that women are being charged by how big they would think their penis is. If I were to attend, I’d say it would be tiny just to get in without paying too much.

In fact, I expect a lot of people will go just to see what happens. Smith thinks the same, and said that “there will inevitably be people who just come along to see what I do with this, which is great, because I want a cross-section of people.”

“It’s not saying big penises are bad,” he clarifies, “it’s about saying that humanity exists on a spectrum and the thing you do is to work out the thing that makes you unique.” So we’re starting with the penis?
Couple with a tape measure

A step too far?

I am all for people accepting their bodies. After all, it is the only one you’ve got and if you can’t love it, can you really expect someone else to?

Honestly? This seems to be taking it a little too far.

What exactly will happen at this party? Will attendees simply get drunk and talk about how they will their knob was bigger, or will they discuss the problems properly? I just don’t see how this can really help.

What do you think? Would you attend this party, or would keep your member away from it? Would you lie at the door to get in cheaper or to make yourself seem more impressive?

Lara Mills
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