Is Sex a Deal Breaker?
January 17, 2014
Can you really break up with someone because of the sex? It’s not a shallow question to ask. After all, if you’re only going to have sex with one person for the rest of your life, you want to find someone who pushes all your buttons. Relationship experts often highlight that we should never settle for someone because they are looking to settle down, or because they are loving and kind. If there’s no attraction, and no urge to rip her clothes off, you are going to spend the rest of your life being dissatisfied.
Sex is really no different than any other deal breaker: weight, age, education, income, kids, sense of humour, and so forth. You will never find someone who has every single quality you are looking for, but if you find someone who ticks most of the boxes, you’re a lucky man!
Can it be Fixed?
So the sex may be boring or uncomfortable, but have you tried working on it? If you’ve not indicated to your partner that your sex life is leaving you more than unsatisfied, how can you expected her to adapt and improve? When there’s issues in bed, take the time to talk through your problems, but make sure you listen to what she has to say too. She may also be unhappy or experiencing discomfort. If you can’t bring yourself to talk to her about it, why not suggest trying something different instead? Watch a porno together for some inspiration, or go shopping for some sexy underwear. If everything else in your relationship is solid, at least try to work through your problems in the bedroom before calling it a day.
Lack of Sex Drive
First you need to assess whether it’s the lack of sex or the feeling of rejection when she doesn’t want sex that is causing the issue. If it’s former, there’s a host of reasons why your partner may have a sudden lack of sex drive. An unexpected decrease in a person’s sex drive is common, especially among those who are a little older. It could be due to stress or anxiety, a sudden weight gain, PMT or medication. Communication is key to a healthy relationship, so try talking to her about this issue and see if you can establish, together, what the problem is.
If it’s the latter, that’s a whole different story. Remember that she is still with you; she’s still attracted to you and she still sleeps with you. You simply have a higher sex drive. As sex expert Evan Katz put it; “It’s like being a chef who gets angry that his patrons don’t want to eat at 1pm after he just fed them a big lunch at 12pm.” It’s nothing personal; you’re both just programmed differently. You can either learn to respect this, or it’s time to move on.
Lack of Sexual Chemistry
Some problems can be easily fixed, but there are some that cannot and sexual chemistry is one of them. The fact is, in any relationship that is more than platonic; it’s the sex itself that distinguishes it. Sex is one of the things that makes the relationship intimate and is one of the few things that is shared between just the two of you. A lack of sex drive can be fixed, but if there’s no sexual attraction – you are just friends, and nothing more.
Everyone’s idea of good sex is different. If the sex isn’t as thrilling and exciting as you’d hoped for, with some simple suggestions and enthusiasm you can find something that will work for you both. You don’t have to enjoy exactly the same things, but there needs to be a sexual compatibility too. The man who likes missionary is going to struggle with a woman who whips out handcuffs and a leather catsuit when she’s in the mood. This isn’t to say that couples can’t go outside their comfort zone; this is what can make sex thrilling. However, for the sex life to remain fun and healthy, a general compatibility should be there.
When it comes to evaluating your relationship; take a step back and ask yourself if you can find happiness with your partner and patiently work on your bedroom antics, or is sex important enough for you to move and continue searching for a more sexual compatible partner. When it comes down to it, the only person who can really answer the questions as to whether you should end your relationship with your partner is you. We can give you advice and suggestions, but if you’re feeling sexually deprived it may be of little use. However, if you are looking for an outside perspective, or just need someone to talk to – the Bristol escorts can help. These ladies are professional and friendly, and are happy to sit and chat all day. Good luck!
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