Tease Me! Slowing Down While Heating Up Sex

November 3, 2018

Happy couple is lying in bed together. Enjoying the company of each other.

The point of sex is to have an orgasm, right? Wrong! Yet this is how many of us have sex. We want to feel good, and what feels better than an orgasm? Not very much, so we tend to rush through things rather than taking our time to tease our partner.

The tease is something of a lost art form. We are so eager to get to orgasm that we’ll spend no more than a few minutes on foreplay before getting to the main event… kissing included. That’s not good for your sex life. So how do you slow down sex while still heating things up?

Eager for an orgasm?

A lot of people’s perceptions of sex are heavily influenced by heterosexual relationships. They think that sex ends when the man reaches orgasm. He comes and that’s it. That’s where sex ends. If the woman hasn’t come by then, it’s tough luck. They’ll just have to hope for a better performance for the next time. As a result of this, we tend to think of the orgasm as the finish line. We rush towards it, eager to get there, and we get a little lost along the way.

We’ll run by Make-out Mews and Foreplay Forks in order to get to Destination Orgasm. This means that sex can be somewhat disappointing. Not only is our partner insufficiently warmed up for sex, but it also feels rushed and selfish. Come on. You’re speeding through sex so you can come. If that doesn’t scream selfish, what does?

Yes, orgasms are great, but don't ignore the other great parts of sex just to have one!

Original source: Wiffle Gif

Start with kissing

Remember those days in your younger years when you’d spend hours on the sofa just kissing? Those were the good old days. We weren’t eager to rush into the act because everything was new. We wanted to appreciate every single moment, so we just kiss for as long as possible.

So why not go a little old school? Believe it or not, taking your time kissing your partner could be the biggest turn on in the world! It shows them that you are in no rush to get to the finish line, and it will help them to relax. A more relaxed partner is often a more turned on partner. Try it and see what happens.

Kissing is a great way to slow things down

Original source: Gifer

Next come the clothes

I will hold my hands up here and admit that, sometimes, sex seems like I’m playing a game of ‘my clothes are lava’. I’ll strip them off as quickly as possible, tossing them aside and being amazed that I didn’t break anything in my eagerness to strip off.

Don’t follow in my footsteps there. Instead, take your time. Slowly remove your partner’s clothes. As you take off each item of clothing, compliment them on their body, or stroke and kiss to show your appreciation. If you take everything off one at a time (not your partner) you’ll be amazed at how much it helps you to slow down foreplay.

Slowly taking off their clothes will make a difference

Original source: Giphy

Take your time

You’ve got them naked! Now what? No, I’m not talking about the obvious. I’m talking about how you can slow down foreplay to really tease your partner and make them desperate for sex with you. One of my favourite techniques is so simple, and yet it is very effective.

You can tease your partner simply by ignoring the obvious places on their body. As you stroke or kiss your way over their body, avoid the places they really want you to touch. For example, if you know that they love you licking and sucking on their nipples, don’t do it. Don’t directly stimulate them until one of you can’t take any more. Simple, but it works.

Take your time with foreplay by avoiding the spots they really want you to touch

Original source: Giphy

The art of the tease

Sex isn’t rocket science, but it can still be complicated. This is why it is worth talking to your partner to figure out what it is that they want. If you are open and honest about sex, you’ll find that things are so much easier.

Not a fan of that approach? Then you’d better become skilled at teasing them instead. Got some tips of your own for helping to slow down sex? Share them in the comments below or join in the discussion on social media!

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Lara Mills

Lara Mills is a writer who has four years of sex industry expertise behind her. Since she entered the adult industry, she has worked on the Escort Advertising forums, before moving into her current role three years ago.

Since then she has gained a fine reputation with her blogs on sex advice, sexual health and amusing news stories from around the globe. She is also a campaigner for the rights of sex workers from all over the world.

In her spare time, Lara keeps herself active by going running, and is something of a film buff. She also loves to go travelling.
Lara Mills
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