The World Best and Worst Lovers Officially Announced!

January 22, 2014

Do you often think of how you rate in the bedroom? Recent surveys by the European Sex Survey and Meranini have focused on how different nationalities compare and perform in bed. With the British rating their own sexual performance as 3.3 on a scale of 1 to 5, the lowest in Europe, we have decided to take a look at how others have scored us.

A poll carried out by asked 15,000 women from around the world to rate men from different countries on their performance in the bedroom. The participants ranked the 20 countries on the list and then had to provide an explanation for their ratings. A spokesman for said: “Well travelled lovers have named and shamed those blokes who don’t satisfy them between the sheets.” So, let’s have a look at the best and worst lovers in the world…

Love kiss couple naked Man and woman in shower

The Worst Lovers

The good news? We’re not the worst! German men topped the worst list because they were considered too smelly. The Germans are great at a lot of things; making cars, drinking beer, being extremely punctual – however, it seems their hygiene standards leave a lot to be desired. Apparently many thought that German men should bathe more often before a romantic encounter.

The bad news? Englishmen were a close second on the list. The reason behind the poor rating is that they are deemed “too lazy” and they let “women do all the work”. This is not the first time such comments have been made; in an article for the Telegraph, Julia Llewellyn Smith wrote that many women from abroad found English men highly disappointing. The women she interviewed agreed that English men are generally charming, however Maryam, who moved to London from Iran, says: “If they weren’t so lazy, they’d be fantastic”.

Don’t despair. Some consolation can be taken from both the Welsh and Scottish making the worst lovers list as well. Men from Wales were considered too selfish, not spending enough time on foreplay and their women’s needs. According to the poll, the Scotts were ranked poorly for being too loud. In a separate survey by Meranini, the Scottish have the lowest expectations with 1 in 10 expecting sex to last less than 2 minutes. That takes the quickie to a whole new level.

naked Man and woman in love are kissing in shower

Americans were rated the fifth worst lovers for being too rough, which many of us would argue can be a very good thing. Likewise, Holland was voted as being too dominating. The other countries that didn’t score so well are; Greece for being too soppy, Turkey for being incredibly sweaty, Sweden for being too quick to finish and Russia for being too hairy for the average women.

The Best Lovers

Many of the countries that topped the best lovers list are already known for being countries associated with sex, lust and passion. They speak the language of love, and apparently they practice it well too. Spain was at the top, followed by Brazil, Italy and France. No reasons were given for why these countries came out on top, but these countries have continually scored well in similar polls. In a recent survey, the French, keeping with their image, claimed to have had more lovers than they can remember. Just half could name all their previous sexual partners. With so much experience, it’s no wonder they’ve come out on top.

A spokesperson for said: ”These results are an eye-opener for thousands of men around the world and female travellers might judge potential new lovers by looking at these results.” This may be true, but with such a small amount of women participating, we feel that these results should be taken with a pinch of salt. However, there’s no time like the present to explore new positions and build on your sexual repertoire. As the spokesperson added: “’because English lads fared pretty badly, they need to up their game if they want to be popular on the international scene.” Looking for some inspiration? Invite a Birmingham escort out for a couple of drinks – these ladies are fun, friendly, and are more than happy to share advice and ideas.

The Complete List

World’s Worst Lovers

1. Germany (too smelly)

2. England (too lazy)

3. Sweden (too quick)

4. Holland (too dominating)

5. America (too rough)

6. Greece (too soppy and lovey-dovey)

7. Wales (too selfish)

8. Scotland (too loud)

9. Turkey (too sweaty)

10. Russia (too hairy)

Young couple kissing, close-up

World’s Best Lovers

1. Spain

2. Brazil

3. Italy

4. France

5. Ireland

6. South Africa

7. Australia

8. New Zealand

9. Denmark

10. Canada


Leave a Reply