Brothel Menu – London 1912 Edition

October 7, 2014

I have been on a number of websites for brothels in America. You go to the Bunnyranch in Nevada and you have a full range of services of on offer which make the encounters sound like a dinner menu that I would get if I went to Nando’s. To be fair, I always thought it was an American thing, and we would never get it in London.

Let’s take a look at the the London brothel experience. You go in, and you pay a flat rate for an ‘all inclusive service’. This means you get sex, but I imagine the language circumvents any allegations of legal grey areas.

A Hilarious Find

However, the latest viral hit on social media today seems to show that London wasn’t always so careful when it came to the wording of it’s sexual services. A brothel ‘menu’ from 1912 has come to worldwide attention and raises so many questions.

As you can see in the pictures above, all the services offered by the prostitutes are laid on there on two pages. In there you will find a load of sexual ‘dishes’, some of which we understood, others of which we haven’t got a bloody clue.

Let’s start off with what we do get. ‘Fucking the breast, tits tight’. That is obviously a titwank, or a ‘Russian’ we call it here.

‘Dog fashion’. That has to be doggystyle sex doesn’t it?

Woman kneels in front of man

Confusing Terms

Well this is where things get weird. ‘Diddling on the edge of the bed with one foot on the floor’. I think I can visualise what they are talking about, but is sex with two feet on the floor, more or less expensive’?

Then it just gets even weirder. ‘Sitting on the prick, shoving in stones and all’. OK, I am totally confused at this one. If anyone has any ideas what that means, feel free to put it in the comments section.

‘Bob cocks and flat pricks’ get charged extra according to the manuscript. I have no idea what a bob or flat prick is. Maybe a flat prick is one that has been hit with a hammer when the wife finds out you have been to a brothel? Who knows?

‘Watching a fucking match, woman to jerk you off” sounds very like me watching the Arsenal game and my wife masturbates me. How that could have gone on in a London brothel in 1912 before the age of TV is beyond me.

Finally, ‘blowing in the ass hole, new style’ raises new questions. Mainly, what is the new way of blowing in an asshole, and what was the old?

Real Questions

OK, this whole thing does raise a few real questions, mainly, would we like to see this today? Instead of going into a London brothel, paying your cash and only then working out what you can do without Leroy the security storming in, beating you senseless and chucking you in the alleyway, wouldn’t it be better to have it all laid out in black and white what you are allowed to do?

I have to say, this approach, in my opinion would revolutionsise the London brothel scene.

Now the usual suspects are obviously going to have a bit of a moan here. They will say that it cheapens what the girl is doing. I however feel that if everyone is aware of what is allowed, that helps the woman set her own boundaries. I know a mate who stuck his finger in the ass on a London prostitute once and she kicked off good style. Maybe he wouldn’t have done that if he was aware of what he could do?

What do you think folks? Let us know in the comments section below.

Martin Ward
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