Hawaii Residents Rush To Pornhub After Missile Scare

January 23, 2018

High Angle View Of Man Watching Adult Movie On Digital Tablet

How would you react if you were in the middle of a missile scare? Maybe you would call family and friends and tell them you love them? Maybe you would sit quietly and think about all the things you left unsaid or undone? Or maybe, if you are like the people of Hawaii you would go and watch porn.

It seems that the initial response of the inhabitants of the island which was the subject of a fake bomb alert recently was to log in and watch porno. This wasn’t just a few people, there was a 50% spike.

A Scary Message

Thousands of Hawaiians received the phone alert which read: ”┬áBallistic missile┬áthreat inbound to Hawaii. Seek immediate shelter. This is not a drill.”

However, once it was announced to be a fake alert via a second message, instead of thanking their lucky stars and using it as a chance to re-evaluate things, the people of the island logged on to Pornhub to relieve the tension.

The website’s stat guys said the number of users using the site hit its highest point just 15 minutes after the second message was sent out. It had seen a 77% drop from its usual levels in the minutes following the first message as people understandably took cover and shit themselves.

Thankfully there was no missile coming across, and it was in fact a member of staff Hawaii’s Emergency Management Agency hitting the wrong option in a drop-down menu. Come on, we have all done it, just not with such car-crash consequences.

An Understandable Panic

The fact is that with all the current tensions between the USA and North Korea, it is quite believable that a missile could get launched so I can understand why people panicked. I also have to agree that porn is a good way to release tension, although I would probably have waited a few minutes before I dived right into Pornhub. But hey, that is me!

Well, despite evidence that porn viewing is going down in general, it looks as though when times are tough, we come back to our old friend.

Long may that continue.

Martin Ward
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