How Do I Know If I Am Bad At Sex?
October 26, 2018
Being a sex god is a dream for most people, but sometimes it isn’t reality. Having those skills when it comes to sex don’t always happen naturally. Sure, sometimes you might be able to figure out what your partner wants, but it takes time and communication. This means that there will be times when you are bad at sex.
It isn’t a pleasant thought to have, but it happens sometimes. So how do you know if you are bad at sex?
You think about only orgasms
Sex is about so many things, but often if someone is bad at sex then they will focus on one thing and one thing only – the orgasm. There are a lot of people out there who believe that sex ends when the man reaches orgasm, which isn’t at all how it works.
This means that your partner could be left unsatisfied if you assume that sex is over when you come. They might have been enjoying things and needed more time, or perhaps what you were doing wasn’t working for them. It can leave them feeling disappointed and frustrated that they didn’t get to enjoy the same high of pleasure that you did.
It can also work the opposite way, where you focus too much on your partner’s orgasm. Yes, getting your partner to come during sex is great. However, it isn’t the be all and end all. If it doesn’t happen then that’s fine. Don’t put them under pressure to come, because then they might be tempted to fake it just to get you to stop! Sometimes it just doesn’t go the way you wanted it to.
Your partner avoids sex
Sometimes we just aren’t in the mood for sex. It could be that we had a stressful week at work, or our mental health problems are just getting on top of us. It could even be that we are just too tired or feel ill, and so don’t feel like it.
Occasionally not being interested in sex is one thing, but if your partner seems to have an endless list of excuses, it might be a sign that you are bad at sex. They may not want to hurt your feelings, so they might pull out the “I have a headache” excuse.
If this happens a lot, it might be a clear sign that you aren’t as skilled in the bedroom as you thought you were. It could also be that there are a lot of things going on in their life and so they don’t feel up to it, so don’t make assumptions. Your best bet to find out is to talk to them.
Lack of communication
This brings us nicely into the next point. How often do you sit down and talk to your partner about sex? I imagine that it isn’t as much as you should. Sex can be so much better if you talk about it, but often we don’t want it.
We get it into our heads that talking about sex is a little like cheating. We are meant to simply work things out for ourselves. Sometimes, the idea of talking about it makes us feel like we are doing sex wrong. We are meant to just know what our partner wants, right?
If you aren’t talking about sex, the chances are that you might not be so good at it. Talking about sex with your partner is a great way to discover what they like, but it also gives you a chance to share what you are into. It will enhance your sex life like you wouldn’t believe!
They orgasm every time without issue
You may be reading this list and thinking “none of these apply to me! My partner orgasms every single time we have sex!”. Well, I hate to tell you, but that could actually be a sign that you are bad at sex.
No-one likes making their partner feel as though they aren’t good in the bedroom, so we might lie a little… typically with fake orgasms. I’ve done this in the past and I felt awful for it. I didn’t want to upset my partner, so I faked my orgasms, even if sex had only just started and they were close.
It is always worth taking the time to talk to your partner about sex, or at least notice if they seem to orgasm every single time. If they do it might be cause for concern, so take your time discussing with them how they feel about your sex life.
Are you bad at sex?
So, what do you think? Are you now wondering if you’re bad at sex? If you are then don’t worry – you are not alone. At some point or another, most of us have wondered if we are bad at sex.
The best way to deal with it is to talk to our partner. Don’t be afraid to open up and ask for what you want. It will help your partner see that they can talk about sex too, so what are you waiting for?
Since then she has gained a fine reputation with her blogs on sex advice, sexual health and amusing news stories from around the globe. She is also a campaigner for the rights of sex workers from all over the world.
In her spare time, Lara keeps herself active by going running, and is something of a film buff. She also loves to go travelling.
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