Philadelphia Police Searching for Swiss Cheese Pervert!
January 13, 2014
Police in Philadelphia are on the hunt for a man who has been asking women to perform sexual acts on him, with wait for it, a slice of Swiss cheese.
The heavily set man, believed to be in his 40’s or 50’s, has apparently been asking woman to relieve him using the sliced cheese. He approaches them in his car and exposes his private parts.
‘I understand that people may think this is funny, but this is no laughing matter,’ the Philadelphia Daily News quotes Milt Martelack, the town watch’s senior adviser, as saying.
The ‘Swiss Cheese Pervert’
Just to show how seriously authorities are taking the situation, there is a designated Facebook page called “Swiss Cheese Pervert.”
It seems that one Philadelphia woman, Gabby Chest, recognises the incidents from a conversation she had with a man online in 2012, whilst using a dating website.
The ‘strange’ man told her he was looking for someone to masturbate him with cheese. He told her how strong his urges were and how he was desperate to find someone to help him with them.
He went on to explain his motivations, stating ‘I started to compare girls to cheese due to their milky complections [sic], girls are soft, smooth feeling and tend to like dairy products more.
‘That and typical advertising, always using a girl to advertise dairy products. So cheese is what I started to use as a replacement for having sex with girls.’
Well, I have heard of some strange sexual fantasies in my time, but that one is certainly out there. Obviously exposing yourself to women isn’t funny, but I will admit it, the rest of it made me chuckle.
An Escort can Help
This is one of the reasons the Manchester escorts provide such a good service. Some guys may have strange fantasies, but many will be willing to accommodate their desires. It certainly stops people going more and more insane and gives them an outlet. So it can be argued very effectively that escorts perform a valuable public service.
At the risk of sounding obvious, being jacked off by a piece of cheese certainly wont make it onto the Escort England ‘Top Ten Male Fantasies Countdown‘.
So what is the strangest sexual fantasy you have heard of?? Let us know on our comments section below.