Tips To Beat The Post-Sex Blues

October 8, 2015

Pretty much every single time we look at the newspaper there is a new study talking about sex. They are either telling us how great sex is for you, and that having sex can help reduce the risks of health complications later in life, or they are telling us that sex is actually bad for the body because of the different things it can lead to.

The opinion on sex is constantly changing, simply because of all of the research done on the topic. Okay, so we know that sex is pretty fucking fantastic, but there are still plenty of people out there feeling very unsatisfied with the sex they are getting, and a recent study has confirmed that.

We take a look at what this study means when they say that many women are experiencing post-sex blues, and we have some great tips to help you beat them once and for all!

What the study says

A paper recently published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine wanted to take a look at the fact that, after sex, women have been stereotyped as being very clingy and craving affection. They wanted to know why this was, and if there was an actual scientific reason for this behaviour. To do this, they set up an online survey and had 230 people respond to it to try and determine what happens to us after sex.

Well, they found that around 46% of the respondents actually suffered with something they like to call “post-coital dysphoria” or “post-sex blues”. This condition means that, after sex, you might experience things like anxiety, agitation, tearfulness, a sense of melancholy, and even aggression.

So nearly half of the women surveyed believed that had struggled with this recently, while a further 5% thought that, at some point in their sex lives, they had struggled with this problem.

It’s hard to think about, but it really seems as though a lot of people struggle with this. Back in 2011 another study by the Queensland Institute of Technology felt that the reason for this may be because of the changes in hormones, while others are putting the blame onto other factors. So what can you do if you or your partner seems to be suffering with the post-sex blues?

Figure out the problem

The first step to getting over the blues that hit after sex is to figure out why they are happening. As the study suggested above, it could simply be that the changes in hormones after the bliss of orgasm has faded away is making you a little bit irritable and ratty, and so you need to figure out a way to calm yourself down and relax, instead of snapping and getting frustrated.

For a lot of people though it simply isn’t that simple. It’d be great if it was, but other factors tends to come into play when you are feeling low after sex.

If you aren’t satisfied by the sex you are having, either because of a lack of orgasms or you feel as though the sex you are having is too monotonous, this can make you feel pretty shit after sex. Sex should be passionate and exciting, not boring!

However, it could also be that, during sex, you want to try out a certain fetish. If that is the case, and you haven’t had the confidence to speak up about it, you might simply find vanilla sex just doesn’t do it for you… so what do you do then?

Just bad sex

Sometimes, it is as simple as bad sex. We’ve all been there at some point, where we’ve been having sex and it just doesn’t tick the boxes for us. It may simply be that they are spending too much time moaning and groaning in our ears instead of actually moving and making us feel good, or it might be that they are left grinning while we wonder where the promised orgasms have gone.

When that happens there are really only a few things that you can do. The first is to take control of sex the next time you go there. Tell them exactly what you want and make it clear how you like to be touched. If they are wise, they’ll follow your not-so-subtle hints and before you know it you’ll get the orgasms you deserve!

The second option is a bit simpler, and that is to just not have sex with that person again. There are plenty of people out there who can give you the sex you want, and sometimes the thrill of sex with someone new is enough to get us off. If you don’t want to talk sex this is the option for you.

Looking for kinky sex

Okay, so sometimes we will have sex, get some great and intense orgasms, and still be left feeling as though that essential box for amazing sex hasn’t been ticked. This can lead to the post-sex blues, simply because the sex we are getting, although it is good, isn’t what we want.

This is especially true for those who are into the more kinky things in the bedroom. Vanilla doesn’t do it for us, as we want someone to spank our ass and tell us that we are filthy, dirty girls. We want someone to treat us the way we want to be treated, instead of nicely.

If you find this happening a lot, the only way to resolve it is to talk to the person you’re fucking. Don’t keep quiet about it. Instead, open up about your deepest, darkest fantasy. The worst case scenario is that they reject it. The best? You get to try it and love it. The risk is worth it, and you might find a new way to beat the post-sex blues. Have you ever had the post-sex blues before?

Lara Mills
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