What’s The Big Deal About Daddy Dom?

July 25, 2018

Elegant young handsome man. Studio fashion portrait.

I love talking about and learning more about sex. In my mind I’m pretty open-minded when it comes to kinks and fetishes. However, I might not be as open-minded as I thought. I had a bit of a wake-up call recently when one of my friends started talking about their Daddy Dom kink.

There are certain kinks I have always struggled to wrap my head around. Daddy Dom is one of them. So lately I’ve found myself asking what’s the big deal about Daddy Dom?

A wake-up call

As I’ve said many times before, I believe I’m open-minded. I try to understand many of the kinks out there, even if I know that they do nothing for me. Things like watersports and hardsports aren’t things I am personally interested in, but I can see why others might be into it. That said, there are a few things I have drawn a line at. The Daddy kink is one of them. Lately, everyone seems to be using the term ‘daddy’ to refer to their partner or dominant in the bedroom. I’ll admit that I read a fair amount of smut on Tumblr, and the majority I’ve come across lately uses the term liberally.

My belief of being open-minded was challenged recently when I met up with a friend for lunch. Out of all of my friends, she is the most adventurous when it comes to sex. She began to talk about her Daddy Dom kink and clearly my face suggested that I wasn’t as accepting as I should be. Given what my friend is like, this only made her talk about it more.

“I don’t get it,” I told her while sipping at my pornstar martini. “Why is everyone suddenly into incest?” That earned me a look from my friend, who asked just what it was that I thought the Daddy kink was. “I don’t think it means what you think it means,” she said, quoting her favourite film before she suggested that I research the topic more. So I did.

It seems that The Princess Bride is an excellent way to alert your closed-minded friend that they don't actually understand something

Original source: Giphy

My assumptions about the kink

First of all, I’m going to talk about my beliefs about this kink, just so you can see how far off track I was. Instantly I assumed that using the term ‘daddy’ to refer to someone was playing into incest territory, which made me feel uncomfortable from the word go. Age play was something else I thought was involved, but to the extreme, and I wanted absolutely no part of that.

There was a part of me that also thought it was just another way to refer to a male dominant. Some people use ‘sir’ or ‘master’, which others might stick with ‘daddy’.

My understanding came from assumptions based of the word ‘daddy’, as well as a number of unusual erotic stories I’d seen. Yes, I based my entire understanding about a kink on a few people writing smut stories online. It was wrong, but it is what happened. So it is easy to see how I got it so badly wrong.

Guess who made an asshole out of herself?

Original source: Giphy

What is a Daddy Dom?

Needless to say, my understanding of the Daddy Dom fetish is actually very different to what it actually is. I was wrong and I know better now because I’ve done the research to prove it. But what exactly is the Daddy kink about?

Let’s look at what it means to be a Daddy Dom. The majority of people online agree that a Daddy is very different to other types of Doms. Kate Sloan has been a fantastic help for my search, stating that it is more about being supportive and nurturing. It isn’t about humiliation, and while discipline when the sub goes off task or acts inappropriately might still play into it, it focuses more on caring for them than hurting them.

There also tends to be some age play involved. Typically it is with the Daddy acting more experienced and older, though some will have their ‘little’ age down a bit. This varies from person to person, but it isn’t quite to the extreme that I first believed it was.

The 'daddy' kink is very different to what some think it is

Original source: Tenor

Would I try it?

The research I did has actually helped me to understand this fetish more. It isn’t anything like I thought it was, and I honestly feel daft for believing that it was about incest and extreme age play. It isn’t, and when you look at it, it actually seems like a very sweet kink to have.

The real question is… would I try it? Knowing what I know now, I’m not going to rule it out. I’m still not convinced that it is for me, but I’m willing to at least talk to a Daddy to try and see what it feels like.

Are you interested in this fetish? Does my research match up with the things that you have discovered? I’d love to hear from you, whether you are a Daddy Dom or a little. Is this something you’d try or is it a hard limit for you?

Lara Mills
Follow me

Lara Mills

Lara Mills is a writer who has four years of sex industry expertise behind her. Since she entered the adult industry, she has worked on the Escort Advertising forums, before moving into her current role three years ago.

Since then she has gained a fine reputation with her blogs on sex advice, sexual health and amusing news stories from around the globe. She is also a campaigner for the rights of sex workers from all over the world.

In her spare time, Lara keeps herself active by going running, and is something of a film buff. She also loves to go travelling.
Lara Mills
Follow me

Latest posts by Lara Mills (see all)


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *