5 Tricks To Break You Out Of A Sex Rut
August 8, 2018
There’s no easy way to say it, but sex ruts suck. You want sex, but when you have it, it just doesn’t feel as though it is as satisfying as it could be. It could be that you have found yourself doing the same things in the bedroom, and so you are desperate to get out of your sex rut.
It might seem like an impossibility right now, but you can help yourself get out of the routine you’ve fallen into in a number of different ways. Here are 5 of my favourite tricks to help you break out.
1. Schedule sex
Over the last week we’ve been hearing how scheduling sex is actually good for you. This is because a recent study has suggested that planned sex might actually be better than spontaneous sex.
It leads to better satisfaction for both partners, and it also ensures that you make time for sex. Anyone in a sex rut might want to think about scheduling sex. Sure, it doesn’t sound particularly sexy to plan sex, but it is actually a fantastic idea.
For a start, you will be showing your partner that sex with them is important. You’ll also make sure you have that time set aside specifically for sex. The build up to the scheduled sex is going to be incredibly sexy, especially on the day of it. You’ll be thinking about it all day which might just be the best foreplay in the world.
2. Get back to basics
Just for a minute forget about sex. Yes, I know. This blog post is supposed to be all about getting out of a sex rut, and now I’m telling you to forget about sex. “What use is that, Lara?” I can hear you asking. Well, it could make the world of difference.
Forget your orgasm. Forget your partner’s orgasm. Forget even initiating sex. Instead try going back to the basics. No sex, just kissing and potentially some foreplay. That’s all.
You’ll be amazed how hot and heavy you and your partner will get with sex off of the table. You might even find that you naturally slip into sex, but try to avoid it. Pretend that you are experiencing it all for the first time and really appreciate your partner. Kiss them slowly and you’ll notice a big difference.
3. Sort out your routine
Hands up if you stay up later than you should. Yeah, me too. I am guilty of watching just one more episode on Netflix and then suddenly it is the next day and I am left exhausted. Having sex when we feel like this is honestly the last thing we want to do.
Try to sort out your routine. You’ll find it much easier to get out of your sex rut if you sort your life out. It could be something as simple as setting a bedtime. We already know that we’d rather sleep than have sex, so why not make sleep a priority?
When you are getting enough sleep your entire mood improves. It also gives you more energy so that you can enjoy things like sex. That surely can’t be a bad thing, right?
4. Deal with your stress
Stress has a knock-on effect on the rest of your life. Whether you are worried about work or your relationships, you might find that sex just doesn’t feel satisfying as a result of it. Instead it is just something to do, which isn’t how it should be.
Deal with your stress. Don’t bottle it up. Find a coping strategy, whether that is hitting the gym or tackling the problem stressing you out. You could even try meditating, and there are plenty of apps you can get for your phone to talk you through some meditation strategies.
Believe it or not, tackling stress is going to change things. When we are stressed we don’t see sex as a fun thing to do. This is how many of us fall into the sex rut. We just do it for the sake of it, rather than enjoying it. Yes, it helps to relieve stress, but unless you deal with the source, it isn’t going to help.
The chances are that the sex rut you have fallen into is as a result of the things that you do in the bedroom. You might find that you are simply doing the same positions or acts over and over again with little variation. If so, you need to take action.
The best thing to do? Talk to your partner. They aren’t a mind reader. The chances are that they have either not noticed that something is wrong or they are too worried to say something. So why not talk to them?
It can be difficult to, but opening up about sex will give you the chance to solve any problems you might have. It also means that you can try new things with your partner. The majority of problems in a relationship can be resolved by talking, so give it a try.
Dealing with a sex rut
If you are in a sex rut it can be a real challenge to get out of it. If you are stuck, you have to take action. Don’t just sit around and hope that the problem will solve itself. That isn’t how it works, and often you’ll just find yourself deeper in the rut.
Struggled with sex ruts in the past but found a solution? We’d love to hear from you. Leave a comment in the box below and tell us how you deal with them.
Since then she has gained a fine reputation with her blogs on sex advice, sexual health and amusing news stories from around the globe. She is also a campaigner for the rights of sex workers from all over the world.
In her spare time, Lara keeps herself active by going running, and is something of a film buff. She also loves to go travelling.