Eight Sex-Moves From The Urban Dictionary (Videos)
May 9, 2016
Creativity has always been the key ingredient in making up interesting new sex moves. Every day kinky minds are conjuring new sex moves and names to describe them. Thanks to the Urban Dictionary, a satirical crowdsourced online dictionary of slang words and phrases there’s a place for such fantastical nonsense. This website resembles a bathroom wall of sorts for freaks and their freaky new moves.
Many of these kinky new sex moves are more humorous than they are practical and recommended. Often they have a component that degrades their partner like in the ‘Dirty Sanchez’ where poop is smeared onto a partner’s upper lip or the ‘Cosby Sweater’ where you eat a large amount of colorful breakfast cereal and then regurgitate it onto your partner’s chest. For the sake of honoring your hypothetical lover, the ridiculous sex moves herein focus on sex acts that don’t seek to outright disrespect the partner; rather they’re just ridiculously hilarious.
Stay kinky and laugh out lout at these 8 ridiculous sex moves that are brought to you by horny homies, with incredible imaginations, as well as the raw and riveting UrbanDictionary.com.
1. The Flying Camel
The chick lies on her back while the dude is hammering her from behind. The dude props himself up onto her back without using his arms and with his cock still inside her, he starts to flap his arms letting out a long shrieking howl.
Place your nut sack into a bowl of warm water and then let a girl put a straw into the bowl and blow bubbles under your balls. Rubber duck is optional but highly recommended.
The sexual act of stretching one’s testicles over the eyes of your partner is known as the Arabian Goggles, but when you also place the anus over their mouth it morphs into the Arabian Death mask.
4. The Crossed Fingered Crippler
The game plan is simple. Fingers crossed, two in the pink, one in the stink. Need more information? Then check out this user friendly video that breaks down how to finger her hairy oyster.
5. The Salty Walrus
You don’t have to be anywhere near the sea to experience this kinky new sex move. It occurs after you ejaculate and you cum all over her face. The cum drips down her chin, cheeks and out of the corners of her mouth so that she becomes a salty walrus.
6. Screaming Seagull
Unlike the Salty Walrus, this sex move needs you on the beach. Now imagine if you will, shagging on the beach, pulling your cock out of her, sticking it into the sand then ramming it back into her pleasure cave. Expect a loud pitched shriek.
7. Joe Pesci
It’s a classic actor and a classic move. You bringing a girl into your car and then at the perfect time, place your hand on her head and lower it to ground zero for a blow job.
8. Litmus Test
This is the act of sniffing your finger after you’ve pulled it out of a pussy to determine if you should proceed with oral sex. It’s a gage of stank and dude, it’s a turn on and necessary to detect if the goods are so fresh and so clean clean or not.
There’s a high probability that you’re thinking “Where do I sign up for this ballcuzzi?” Start looking for a straw and ask an elite, discreet courtesan if she could help with the bubbles! Chances are you’ve already performed a Joe Pesci, a Litmus test and the three fingered crippler. If you’re curious to see more ridiculous sex positions then watch Sex positions attempted by real people part 1.
Whether or not you’ll ever actually use the Arabian Death Mask is up for debate, but there’s most likely a salty walrus in your sexy future so you have that to look forward to. One thing is for sure, the imagination of sex craved dudes and the new sex moves that they cook up will never cease to have the rest of us laughing, or at least scratching our heads in disbelief. Is there a sex move that you think should be on this list? Then submit it in the comment box below!