The Comparison of Sex in the Noughties and Now!

April 26, 2016

Woman nibbling man's ear

As the years have gone by, I’ve seen so many changes in our social, political and economic traditions. I remember a time when third-wave feminism wasn’t blasted on our TV screens, when Maria Sharapova was the golden girl of tennis and when having a Nokia 3410 made you the coolest kid in class. Yeah, those were the days…

After reminiscing about my past for a couple of hours, I can’t help but think about how much the sex culture has changed in this little country in Northern Europe. Of course, people who are older than I am would point out more cultural changes than I could, but you have to think that the way we think about sex now has changed since the new millennium.

‘Let’s talk about sex’ says the teacher

If any of you guys have read my article about why people are learning about sex through porn, you would know what my sex education classes were like when I was in primary and secondary school. I remember my class being divided up into a boys and girls group in Year 6, when I was taken to a classroom to learn about the ‘time-of-the-month’, or what I like to call it, ‘time-of-hell’.

Alongside that, I was taught how to have sex, which made the entire group in the class giggle in class and made me think ‘What…?’ It wasn’t until a few years later when I was taught how to put on a condom. I knew the reasons why condoms exist; the fact that they protect us from unprotected sex and disease that can be both irritable and fatal. However, I didn’t know how or why a person would get hard or wet, as if sexual arousal was completely alien to me.

Since 2010, there has been a lot of strife in schools as to whether sex education is becoming more inadequate as the years go by. Due to the expanding exposure of sex on magazines, TV screens and the internet, the school boards  are confused as to whether they should be teaching kids more about sex culture and not just about reproduction and puberty. Especially with the awareness of rape culture today, young people are saying that they wish that they learned about consent and relationships back in school.

Watching something that’s x-rated

Back when I was in my teens, it was considered normal for a guy to watch porn but not for a girl. I actually thought I would be branded as a freak for watching a dirty video on the internet out of my sexual interest, or just out of pure curiosity. When I was 14 or 15-years-old, I told my friends that I was interested in the world of BDSM and the topic of bondage.

As suspected, I was branded as a weirdo amongst my social circle. However, after a week or so of coming out as a BDSM lover, a male friend from school started to chat to me on MSN (yes, MSN!) and he began to confess that he has the urge to be tied up in thick rope; he even sent website links that showed pictures of guys with their nuts tied up!

Nowadays, or since 2010, no one seems to care whether a guy or girl watches porn or not. I don’t know whether it’s because I have a circle of friends that are older than me or not, but it doesn’t appear like it’s a big deal if you chat about what kind of porn you like, or just porn overall. Personally, I think that’s a good thing, because porn is eminent in this country; it’s not an underground subject that you can’t talk about with other people.

How many partners should a person have?

Oh God, if one of my sexually active friends has gone back in time, grabbed a speakerphone and shouted on the rooftops that she had just fucked 3 guys in a row, she would have had eggs thrown at her and been called a slut or a whore. What’s funny, if I come to think about it now, people back in the noughties would call you a slut if a girl goes out with one guy, dumps him and then finds another guy within a short period of time, like a week or something.

I wasn’t really aware of threesomes, dogging and swinging until I turned 20 and that’s when 2012 was around the corner. Nowadays, there seems to be a mixed bag of opinions when it comes to talking about a person’s promiscuity. Particularly with third-wave feminists; you get some of them protesting on the streets to ban ‘Page 3 Girls’ in the Sun newspaper, but they want to promote the ‘Free The Nipple’ campaign.

Back in 2000, religion was the reason why promiscuity was considered as a taboo. Now (gender) politics are just fucking up people’s heads as to whether it’s ethically ok to have a thriving sex life.

Waving the rainbow flag

While I sat back on my sofa and drank a beer one night, a sudden memory came flooding back to me. In my secondary school, the girl’s toilets are always covered in graffiti that was drawn by really chavvy girls. Jeez, I haven’t used the word ‘chavvy’ in a long while…

Anyway, what I’ve noticed was that if a group has written on the doors, writing about a specific person and saying that he or she is gay, then that’s a way of telling other people that they shouldn’t be friends with that person, otherwise, you’d be branded as a freak too. Someone wrote on one of the toilet cubicles that I was a ‘lezza’ and I was initially hurt by that comment. Not because someone called me a lesbian, but she thought that it was a good idea to get me ostracized. Kids can be so cruel.

But now, people like openness. Actually, it’s considered that it would beneficial for you to open up if you’re gay, lesbian, bisexual and/or trans. I’ve heard of many stories before where many people have developed depression because they felt like they couldn’t express their sexuality with other guys and girls. That is why you have a lot of LGBT clubs at universities or public groups on Facebook where guys and girls can get with other guys and girls.  It’s true, I’m part of an LGBT group myself!

Getting laid and getting paid

I think that sex industry has gone through a massive change since the year 2000. When I first heard of the word ‘porn star’, I’ve asked my Mum what it was when I was either 9 or 10-years old. She told me that it’s something that I should never do in the future because it’s a bad job, and I believed it at the time because, well, I was still a kid back then!

Since the sex industry was another taboo subject to get involved it, it wasn’t a big surprise that the industry was kept, or branded, as an underground business. After 2010, people have now become more aware that some people become sex workers out of their own choice; not every guy and girl wants to be the Prime Minister or an accountant. Furthermore, the public is starting to realise that people who enter the sex industry enjoy sex; they enjoy the time and companionship that they have with other people, just like escorts do.

In fact, it’s not just escorts I’m talking about, either. There are plenty of dominatrixes, erotic masseuses, pornstars, sex workers overall that enjoy getting off and getting paid at the same time. If you don’t believe me, then have a look at what all of the courtesans are saying on the community forum; they would tell you otherwise!

Zoe Jaspers
Follow me

In the last 16 years, I have masturbated a lot! I mean, I don't think that I could count how many times that I have pulled my plonk. If I counted 1 wank per day in the last 16 years, I would have done it 5840 times. That is a lot. I am a fucking wanker.

Leave a Reply