She’s a Screamer! Woman Jailed for Sex Noises

June 3, 2015

Out of all the things you could punish a woman for, few guys would think of making sex noises. To some, a woman’s fanatic sex screams are just an awesome boost to the male ego – the idea that you’re able to inspire such auspicious testimonies with just your penis. But even for those that aren’t exactly turned on by loud women in the bedroom, few would ever condemn it.

Two Weeks Behind Bars

Alas, the powers that be think differently to the common man. This week, in England a Birmingham woman was jailed for two weeks for making repeated loud sex noises, breaching a previous court order to subdue her cries of pleasure. This classy girl, named Gemma Wale, was reported by her neighbour, who had suffered too many sleepless nights at the hands of the brunette’s animalistic nature.

Making his deliberations, the Judge concluded: “I am satisfied that during the course of the early hours of 29th January 2015, at around 5am, the defendant was guilty of screaming and shouting whilst having sex at a level of noise which caused nuisance or annoyance to (a neighbour).”

It makes us wonder what type of Judge would so recklessly dismiss such behaviour, and whether poor Gemma would have received more mercy at the hands of a less sexually repressed arbitrator. But then again we’re still not sure what type of noises this woman was making. Every single guy knows there are sexy noises, and then there are ‘here’s a plastic bag’ sort of noises. If, for example, we’re talking about more wolf-like growling noises, then we’re entirely with her neighbour’s decision to complain.

If I was lying asleep in my bed and I hear some demonic sex noises, I suppose I would be irritated too. Then again, it partly correlates to how attractive you find the woman. And you may be wondering – why didn’t the guy just gag her?

Bragging Rights

The likely answer is because he’s a man who wants the world to hear of his glorious conquest – from the man next door to the sleep-wary dog at the end of the road. It’s natural to be proud of your sexual escapades, and what better way to let the world know what you’re doing than having a howling woman heralding it to the neighbours.

It also makes us wonder what type of rehabilitation program waits for her in prison. It’s not exactly a classic situation, and what type education can she expect to receive about keeping her proclamation of wild abandon to a minimal decimal. Imagine the rapport with the other inmates, too, when they ask what she’s in for, and her sheepish (or bold) reply is ‘having really loud sex’.

Whatever happens to this girl, we wish her luck in her future sexual ventures, and pray that the powers-that-be do little more to stifle this Brummy lady’s wild spirit from crying out (literally).

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