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With only a few days until Christmas, it’s time to start your Christmas shopping. Buying the perfect Christmas gift doesn’t have to require a lot of legwork – there are plenty of sexy gifts available, so you’re spoilt for choice. Take a look at some of these luxurious gifts to fuel your erotic imagination.

OK, I will get straight to it. Let us talk about erectile dysfunction (or ED as it is also known). You know, where you struggle to get, or maintain an erection. Where Pele comes and does an advert about it, and then goes “get help, I would”, just to remind us he has no problems down there.

I was always a big fan of Futurama. No, not the horrifically dumbed down version of Futurama which came back after the break, but the good one. You know, the time when Fry found out that despite his brother always teasing him, he did love him and missed him when he went missing. And don’t get me on to the one where Fry’s dog Seymour waited for him every day from when Fry was frozen, to the day the loyal dog died. Actually, I’m trying to forget that one as it makes me tear up.

Anyone who has been keeping up to date with the news in Sweden will have heard about the rise in sex crime at music festivals this year. Without delving into the reasons why this is the case, it is safe to say that there have been a number of plans that have been put in place to make it stop. These including anti-grabbing bracelets and ‘girls only zones’. Sadly, it seems these have all failed. Now they have another idea, that being ‘value contracts’.

In a rather strange story, a woman has been filmed giving a guy a blowjob in the middle of a nightclub.

I spent 15 minutes thinking about whether I should actually write this piece. When everyone comes to the XEscorts blog, they usually come for a laugh at crazy sex stories from the world. If they are not here for that, then there is the sex advice or the escort tips. This is a place of for escapism, so we don’t really deal with important issues here. However, the stories coming out regarding the sexual abuse of footballers by their coaches when they were young really can’t be allowed to pass without comment.

A woman who admitted having sex with her dog has escaped jail after a trial in Australia.

A 24 year old female teacher who was made pregnant by a 13 year old student has pleaded guilty to the aggravated sexual assault of a child this week. However, it looks like she may avoid jail.

So Donald Trump is President. I have to say, I never saw it coming. I thought he would do better than people expected, but that he wouldn’t get enough of the swing states to win. Well, that was me completely wrong. Maybe I need to stick to writing adult content, rather than political punditry?

I have never really had a problem with dogging. It is not something I have ever engaged in, and I can’t see myself starting. Still, if people aren’t hurting anyone else, then where is the harm? However, as it is done in public areas, there often a chance that this kind of fun can go rather wrong.