Funny Sex Accidents
January 28, 2016
Sex is so amazing that it can bring us pleasure even if we just talk about it, right? You know what they say, love hurts but sex is awesome. However, sex is not always an enhancing experience that makes our body and soul tremble, is it? It can be hilarious and sometimes, sex accidents happen that make sex hurt, too.
Don’t tell me that you never had the red eye after your boyfriend forgot to “sing: here comes the sperm?” or that she never fell under the bed while she was the sexy cowgirl? No? Well, nothing like that happened to me either…
But these are just pieces of a diet cake. Below you will read some of the most shocking sex accidents that happen to people during their sex sessions.
Getting Stuck Together Can Happen and It’s Awful
I have to admit that I used to joke about penis captivus when I was younger. Well, it was funny for me but I guess the Italian couple who, in 2014 experienced being stuck together while having some sexy time in the ocean, didn’t find it hilarious.
He got big, she contracted her vaginal muscles and they got stuck. That would be the summary of the accident. Fortunately, nobody was hurt and after an injection meant to relax the pussy muscles they were separated.
I have no idea if that hurt, but I can feel their embarrassment when they were taken to the hospital. At least having sex in the ocean wasn’t a cliché for them, was it?
Here’s the Threesome You Never Dreamed About!
Oh, you read threesome and began imagining the story. Let me tell you what happened to Yeh (I guess that by his name he was meant to have sex accidents), a Chinese man who wanted a hot threesome in his car, in Wenzhou.
I can totally see how the car makes the perfect place for three people to have sex, can’t you? But that’s not important now. What is interesting is that Yeh took the ladies in a parking spot and got down to business. But the sexy time was interrupted by one of them touching the parking brake.
The car started moving, hit a tree and trapped the ladies. Instead of a happy ending, the Chinese man got a funny one, having to scream not of pleasure, but for help while jumping around in his underwear. Yeh, man!
So, You Want a Bigger Penis, Don’t You?
More and more people found out that size does not matter and the secret it’s in the moves, Jagger! Unfortunately, Grigory Toporov, a Russian man didn’t believe the rest of us, and instead of working on how to shake that ass, he decided to make his tiny wienie bigger. Well, we all have to do what makes us feel better, right? But did a huge penis bring Toporov and his misses’ happiness?
It probably did, until his prosthetic popped and got lost in her vagina. What the hell, man? You lost your toy inside her??? Well, the big penis he wanted ended up as broken as his heart since his wife filed for divorce! He should have believed that the magic is in the moves!
Common Sex Accidents: Girl, Be Careful Not to Break It!
Since we are in the broken penis section, what would you think if your or your man’s penis just cracked while you are in the middle of your sexy session? Stop laughing while calling this impossible since “there’s no bone there” and read this story.
A while ago, a British couple experienced the unpleasant moment of a broken penis while they were having sex. Robert McClenahan’s penis snapped in half when he missed Emma’s… hole.
OK, now really, stop laughing. It could have been you. Everybody missed the pussy at least once, right? Well, fortunately not everybody experienced this rare mishap which after cracking loudly results in immense pain. Auch!
Teeth Are Dangerous!
Most people are used to giving and receiving sex in the car! But none of you expect to be disturbed how a Chinese guy was in 2009 while his secretary was taking care of his junk. Oh well, what are secretaries for?
No, nobody knocked on his window. It was just a van that crashed into his back bumper and made the lovely woman, who was doing an amazing job, to strongly close her jaws!! Holy shit!
If you’re a man you probably feel its pain. And if you are a woman you will feel the joy when I tell you that the whole thing was seen by a detective his wife hired. Ok, he was a cheater, he deserved to be bitten!
I could go on with other hilarious or even scary stories about sex accidents, but I would also like to hear some from you. You can share them here, in the box below.