SEX

In what has to be the most bizarre story I have read for a while, a man from the USA has found himself in a bit of trouble after being caught having sex with a tree.

When you’re feeling a bit shit and down, there is nothing better than a quick shag to make you feel better. It’s a great way to de-stress and relax, but it also feels amazing… do we really need any other excuses?

When you think of a funeral, you tend to think of people gathered around a coffin in a church and crying as they take the coffin out into the graveyard and lower it into the ground. They are very sad occasions, where the only joy is sharing memories of the one you’ve lost with everyone gathered there.

Everybody wants to have sex. It is something that we all know and accept… for the most part. Yet when it comes to disabled people and sex, we don’t like to put the two anywhere near each other. It has become a taboo.

It’s a struggle for many of you. You’ll jump through every hoop to get them into bed, go through all of the foreplay in the right way, and then as soon as you start having sex you’re desperately trying to hold in your load and stop yourself from blowing. All of your efforts are in bed were in vain as you spend your wad almost as soon as it begins.

Yes, you have read that correctly. If you think you are a sex entrepreneur, whether you are “a startup virgin” or “an experienced entrepreneur”, then you might just get the chance to pitch your genius and sexy idea to Durex and Red Pagoda Resources. Yes, really.

Russia doesn’t exactly have the greatest reputation when it comes to sex and relationships. For a start, LGBT people do not seem to have the same rights as others, despite the fact that what happens behind closed doors between two consenting (same sex) adults was decriminalised in 1993. Gay men and lesbian women are just not accepted.

Sex toys can be great fun to use in the bedroom. There is nothing sexier than seeing your partner writhing and moaning on the bed as you press a vibrating bullet on her clit to make her scream.

We all know the saying “don’t rock the boat”, but that is what usually happens if you are lucky enough to have sex on the high seas. Being on a boat and fucking like rabbits is huge fun, but sometimes you need to think about where you are.

Despite what people think, your sex life doesn’t stop at forty. Some young people act as though they invented every sex act, but in reality mature sex is far more enjoyable, and that is because mature people are a hell of a lot better at it.